meet me or not, i'm out of control
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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