I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
