hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
