she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
