I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
