This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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