I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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