just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
