Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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