We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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