You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Randomize
