what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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