Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
