please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
