Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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