Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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