and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't think brook has ever known best
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
