i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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