enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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