and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
