Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
