You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize