So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
