you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
