I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
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Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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