There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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