My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I faked an abortion last night.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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