I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
