What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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