we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
