got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
