I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The best revenge is premature balding
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
