He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
