i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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