Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
