Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Are we still banned from the library?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
