i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
