I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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