I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
