We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
