Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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