if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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