That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
