oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
