Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
