I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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