I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
