Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
