whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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