sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
