they need to just BURY HIM!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
