There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
