My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
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just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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