Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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