I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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