butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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