I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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