bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
