just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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