oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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