i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize