I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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