Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
