A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
North Korea, Best Korea!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
