just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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