Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
