Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
