things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
