FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
