Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize