I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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