So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
