maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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