Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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